Warning: strtotime() [function.strtotime]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CST/-6.0/no DST' instead in /home/appiness/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 35

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CST/-6.0/no DST' instead in /home/appiness/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 43

Warning: strtotime() [function.strtotime]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CST/-6.0/no DST' instead in /home/appiness/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 35

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CST/-6.0/no DST' instead in /home/appiness/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 43

About Appiness

Hi! Welcome to Appiness.net. The online home of Appiness.

So, what is Appiness, you say? Well, in addition to the British pronounciation of “Happiness,” Appiness is an application development company with headquarters in San Diego, California, USA. Our mission is to create interesting applications that people enjoy. Some are funny. Some are bad-ass. Some are both. But each brings a little bit of Appiness every time.

We have lots of fun making super-awesome apps of great joy. We hope you have fun using them. Our first offering has just launched on the App store. Check it here:

Hornymeter at the iTunes App store.


Warning: strtotime() [function.strtotime]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CST/-6.0/no DST' instead in /home/appiness/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 35

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CST/-6.0/no DST' instead in /home/appiness/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 43

Warning: strtotime() [function.strtotime]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CST/-6.0/no DST' instead in /home/appiness/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 35

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CST/-6.0/no DST' instead in /home/appiness/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 43

Hornymeter

Just how horny are you, or your friend, or that special acquaintence you’ve just met. Hornymeter will tell you. This breakthrough iPhone app instantly reads anyone’s level of horniness.

Simply launch the Hornymeter on your iPhone, choose male or female and place a finger on the scanner. After some quick yet complex analyses, a horniness score and summary is offered. As you soon discover, everyone is very, very horny. Each time the Hornymeter runs, it offers a score along with quips such as, “Exactly how long were you incarcerated?” or “If horniness were sand, you’d be the Sahara” The Hornymeter is a technological breakthrough in iPhone apps, providing endless entertainment and a conversation starter that’s sure to get a chuckle every time.

initiateanalyzingincarcerated


Warning: strtotime() [function.strtotime]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CST/-6.0/no DST' instead in /home/appiness/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 35

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CST/-6.0/no DST' instead in /home/appiness/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 43

Warning: strtotime() [function.strtotime]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CST/-6.0/no DST' instead in /home/appiness/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 35

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CST/-6.0/no DST' instead in /home/appiness/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 43

Hornymeter in Action

http://www.vimeo.com/5147966

Warning: strtotime() [function.strtotime]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CST/-6.0/no DST' instead in /home/appiness/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 35

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CST/-6.0/no DST' instead in /home/appiness/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 43

Warning: strtotime() [function.strtotime]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CST/-6.0/no DST' instead in /home/appiness/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 35

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CST/-6.0/no DST' instead in /home/appiness/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 43

FAQ

  • Does the HORNYMETER provide accurate results?
    But of course. Very complicated and technical processes determine the algorithmic coefficient of the biorythmic tangent, which research studies have shown to be a reliable indicator of one’s libidinous proclivities.
  • The scanner doesn’t seem to work, am I doing something wrong?
    Possibly. Try using just the ball or pad of your finger or thumb, as opposed to the long section of your fingertip. The scanner is a sensitive scientific device.If a long section of skin comes in contact with the scanner, it may interpret it as two fingers being present, which forces the scanner to cease and restart.
  • The HORNYMETER lines are funny. But I have a few ideas for some, too. Do you want them?
    Sure. We do have plans for user-submitted analysis lines in future updates of the HORNYMETER. Sign up to be a Fan on Facebook or check back here periodically to find out the latest. In the mean time, you can email your suggestions to hornymeter@appiness.net. Submitters whose lines are selected for release will receive a special prize yet to be determined.
  • Do you have any other apps planned?
    Why yes, we do. Check back periodically to find out the latest appenings from Appiness.